Masturbation isn’t really a topic we talk about–still. It’s not covered in sex ed, or discussed openly among friends, or perceived as the normal, and quite healthy, act it is—especially for women.
We’re often made to feel ashamed of satisfying our own sexual needs. Men are given high fives and women are given dirty looks. The narrative needs shifting—and that change has begun—but just in case you’re still feeling uncomfortable or un-allowed to participate in the joys of masturbation, we’re here to give you some helpful info to highlight all the benefits. (And trust us, there are many).
\Why masturbation is healthy
Boosts your confidence and body image
Helps with sexual dysfunction issues
Relieves menstrual cramps
Masturbation can also help you learn more about your sexual self: what feels good, the momentum that works for you, and what you like. It can help you develop a rewarding relationship with your own sexuality that you can share with others (when you’re ready).
How masturbation can improve your sex life
Masturbation allows us to get in touch (literally) with ourselves, which can create an emotional and physical connection with our bodies. Often times, we may feel disconnected from ourselves, self-conscious, or awkward in our own skin, especially when it comes to sex.
But many psychologists believe masturbation helps us tune into the most intimate parts of ourselves and can unleash the inhibitions we may have. It can help us learn to appreciate our bodies and strengthen our mindsets to be more open to experiencing pleasure.
These connections can help us feel more confident, which can lead to a healthier sex life with others.
Using toys for solo sex
Sex toys such as vibrators, dildos, anal stimulators (like beads), and genital rings can be a fun way to explore sexual gratification and learn new things about your body and yourself. While many use them solo, they can also be used during partnered sex to elevate your experience.
There’s a variety of toys out there ranging in materials, size, function, and price, so you can truly customize how you want to feel. Some of the most common toys include:
Vibrators: One of the most diverse categories of sex toys, vibrators range in size, shape, and stimulation level. Popular ones include:
Finger pads, which slip over the finger and provide different levels of stimulation
The rabbit-style vibrator, which stimulates both the vagina and clitoris simultaneously
Pulsating vibrators, which replicate penetration with added vibration.
Hands-free vibrators, remote-controlled devices that do all the work. They are placed on top of the clitoris and have attachments to secure them in place.
Vibrating underwear: Older iterations of vibrating underwear came with small compartments to place your vibrator into, securing it closely to your vulva. However, tech has cum a long way. Newer models have built-in vibrators that are controlled by remotes or your smartphone.
Double-ended dildos: These dual devices can be used with partners (each person using one end for penetration) or alone, as you can bend the ends to penetrate yourself in two places at once.
Not sure which ones to check out? We have a few favs:
Joint masturbation
Masturbation is mostly thought of as a solo act, but there are some people who choose to engage in self-touching together. It may sound a bit, well, awkward, but there are some major benefits to giving it a go.
Mutual masturbation can encourage you and your partner to learn about how to pleasure one another
It can create a sense of trust within your partnership (even if it’s someone you just started dating or talking to)
It can feel uncomfortable at first, so it’s important to have a conversation before jumping in
There are also a lot of bizarre and outdated masturbation myths out there. Based on misinformation and a lot of nonsense, here are a few you can mark off your list of things to worry about.
Myth: masturbation makes you infertile - Absolutely not. No. Nope. Go on, do your thing.
HUGE myth: masturbation causes blindness - Seriously, this is a thing people believe and no, there is zero truth to it. Your eyes are safe.
Myth: masturbation can lead to mental illness - No, this isn’t true. Your mind isn’t on the brink just because you engage in some self-love.
Myth: your partner isn’t satisfied with you if they masturbate - Nope! People in loving, healthy, happy, and sexually satisfying relationships still masturbate.
Myth: masturbation isn’t “real” sex - We often follow the most accepted definition of sex: penis in vagina. But that’s not the only expression of sex. When it comes down to it, you get to define sex for yourself, and that can include solo sex.
The most important thing to remember about masturbation is that it’s all about YOU. Do what makes you feel good, confident, and content. Feel free to explore and entertain new ideas. And certainly let all shame or embarrassment go. That’s a thing of the past.